Note: Comments of readers are their own and do not reflect the feelings of Bob Lonsberry or lonsberry.com.
72 Responses to:
ABOUT GROWING UP AND MOVING ON
# 1. 4/30/12 6:37 AM by Steve thompson - Addison NY
1:47:39... not to shabby Bobby!
Editor's Note: it was a beautiful day in a beautiful place. had i been thinking, i could have made the effort to hit 1:45.
# 2. 4/30/12 6:53 AM
Well put. There is nothing like the good pride of being truly independent. I cannot believe the parents and kids these days. Parents give their children too much at great sacrifice sometimes. I thought I was spoiled, but when I see kids these days, it is frickin' UNBELIEVABLE what their parents do for them and give them. But that is their business and not mine. It is also bad parenting, which seems to be rewarded these days. I used to enjoy playing with dirt and sticks and I think I learned more from that than playing some expensive video games. Not saying parents should never reward their kids, but making them into useless slugs is a big mistake.
# 3. 4/30/12 7:05 AM by Cal - Rochester, NY
Re: "We have forgotten how to raise our young, and consequently they are staying young and we are being deprived of their usefulness and service. We better figure out soon how to change that, or society is going to have some very difficult days ahead."
ANSWER - With Obama as Pres. and with his overspending, the law of economics will solve this whole problem! This likely will bring on the depression of depressions!
PROBLEM SOLVED! Without the lucrative life, the beggars will have to fend for themselves and become productive citizens!
THE PARTY IS OVER, THANKS TO OBAMA!
# 4. 4/30/12 7:07 AM by Rick G. - Spencerport, NY
There are few things more fulfilling than raising a kid and watching them go off and support themselves in a timely fashion. It's the way nature intended it to be. There really are no excuses.
# 5. 4/30/12 7:21 AM by S J - Rochester, NY
This is hogwash. My generation is very responsible. For example, we are responsible for America's declining productivity.
# 6. 4/30/12 7:26 AM by Poplar Beach
In some part I agree with you Bob, but it is much more complicated than parenting.
Yes, if the nest is made too comfortable the young will stay there, enjoying the hand outs and the laid back life.
But when I moved out, it was to a crappy rental trailer and a $500 beater car. Most of my peers were in the same boat, frugality was the norm, we were the children of depression era parents.
Today my cell phone bill, my DSL service and my satellite TV bills would take care of that rent, car and food bills with money left over.
I get a kick out of the I want my kids life to be better than mine philosophy.
I grew up in the 50-60s with hand me down toys and cloths, no cell phones, computers, flat screen TVs, etc. There was one car per family, furniture was recovered, appliances were repaired, a night out for dinner was a rarity, unless it was at a friends house, and life was wonderful for me.
Today, for many, happiness is measured in how much stuff you have, how big your house is, how new your car is, life is still good, but tons more expensive and I think parenting in the age of STUFF is much more difficult unless you want to join the Amish, or maybe a church like yours.
# 7. 4/30/12 7:30 AM by Director
A prime example of bad parenting: Kodak wants to pay "retention" bonuses to it's executive corps.
Outtakes of proposed "New Kodak" PR commercial:
TAKE 1: "My names is Antonio Perez and I am a Mormon!" CUT!!!
TAKE 2 "My name is Antonio Perez and I cannot tell a lie!" CUT!!!
TAKE 3 "My name is Antonio Perez and you want "retention", I'll give you "retention"! Anally!" CUT!!!
TAKE 4 "My name is Antonio Perez and I am the loco bandito!" THAT'S A WRAP!!! What, there was no film in the camera! Antonio said it was cut from the budget!
# 8. 4/30/12 7:46 AM
Has nothing at all to do with the worst economy since the Depression.
It's all about moral failure....
# 9. 4/30/12 7:46 AM by Tom Dey - Springwater, NY
Even college is now considered an entitlement that others should provide gratis. Some combo of parents' and taxpayer subsidized loans. Perish the thought of enlisting and later availing the (earned) GI Bill benefits. Remember when parents would lovingly chide, "I'll be glad when he's 18 and on his own?" Now 30-year-OLD KIDS still lounge around, reminding mom to do the laundry. And the lib press blames industry for not "providing jobs at their level." Like, how many philosophers and marine biologists do we need?
# 10. 4/30/12 7:50 AM by Lauren - Pittsford
Give me a break.
This is just the time old tale of "What's the matter with kids these days?" Your column includes some gross generalizations. Yeah, there are spoiled brats who have their parents go to bat for them whenever things don't go the way they planned, but those people have always existed. Then and now, they have been the exception, not the rule.
# 11. 4/30/12 8:11 AM by Tony P
there is another name for those 25 year olds living in their parents basements playing video games-
Hard to break that sense of entitlement once it's imbedded in their brains.
# 12. 4/30/12 8:18 AM by Clyde
Actually, I would rather see overparenting than underparenting for the most part. Look what has happened in black neighborhoods.
# 13. 4/30/12 8:20 AM by FDR - Hamlin
And the government largesse and coddling continues - allow adults to stay on their parents' medical insurance, forgive/bailout college debt and home mortgage, etc., etc. Yes, the worst is yet to come and it won't be pretty.
# 14. 4/30/12 8:21 AM by Scott
I waited until I was in my mid 30's to have kids, even though now at times I wish I was younger. I think this is why I am a good parent. Not only do I want to be a good Dad but I am equipped emotionally to be a good dad now.
I can't even imagine my 25 year old self being a Dad!
# 15. 4/30/12 8:22 AM by Ken - Webster, NY
In a way, I wish the draft still existed. Certainly, it would be political suicide to re-employ it unless we were at a world war perhaps, but I truly believe that many of the youth and our society, in general, would benefit from the guidance and discipline that some of these individuals need. Perhaps, their perspective and contributions to our country as a whole would help alleviate this lackadaisical society and help us be more productive. At the very least, I think the crime rate could possibly drop with just a little discipline, respect of authority, and invoking an attitude of contributing to society.
# 16. 4/30/12 8:28 AM by Aaron
We tend to look back at our childhoods as if we had something so great and the newer generations should be pitied. Yes, it was a lot of fun roaming the neighborhood alone from age 4 on and never being asked if I had homework. It was a real blast when a group of us kids climbed the sound wall and played chicken on the freeway, too. I'm somewhat concerned about what my son will be like when he grows up not having anything close to the freedoms I enjoyed, but in reality, he will probably do way better than I did having the attention of his parents
# 17. 4/30/12 8:30 AM by Grandma Taxpayer - Greece, NY
I have worked in the banking industry for over 20 years and this is what I see on a daily basis regarding a vast majority of young people under 30.
1. I don't know why my checkings (yes, they call it "checkings" acct.) is negative. Do you balance your checkbook? No, but can I have the $111.00 in fees back because I need to pay my cell phone bill or they are going to turn it off.
2. Can you please sign your name on this signature card? They proceed to PRINT. Nope, you need to sign your name in CURSIVE and they look at me like I am talking in a foreign language.
3. I want a loan to buy a car. OK.......how much do you earn at your job? Well, I don't have a job. So, how are you going to pay us back???
4. I want a loan to buy a car. OK......so how much do you make at your job? Well, I don't know.
5. I want to borrow $10,000 because I have a lawn care business and I need equipment. OK.......so how long have you been in business? One year. OK....so how much did you make last year? Ummmmmmm $3,000. You don't qualify for any loans because you don't make enough money. Maybe you need to get a full time job while you get your business off the groung. Gee.......that's what my mother told me. Well.......your mother was right!
This is just a small sampling of what I deal with on a daily basis. Most young people have no clue about how a checkbook even works and more clueless about loans. I have kids who can't write their names to sign forms and parents who think it is the bank's responsibility to teach their kids the world of finance. It is really pitiful and I wonder how these kids get through the day!
And people.......it is called a CHECKING account. Not CHECKINGS account!!!!!!
# 18. 4/30/12 8:43 AM by Christopher - Newport News, VA
In many ways raising kids these days is more difficult than when I was a kid. Middle class families are so much more affluent. (a good problem to have) All good parents want the best for their kids. What many of them don't seem to realize is that over indulging them is not doing them any good. You rob them of the joy and pride of honest work. You eliminate the experience of that first entry level job that lets them reach their own conclusion that maybe staying in school might be a better idea to increase their job options.
Work to improve the quality of their lives, but don't over indulge them.
# 19. 4/30/12 8:44 AM by Beth
As to the poll: a famous leader once said. If I am successful others will claim my victories, if I fail, they will seek my blood for generations.
# 20. 4/30/12 9:01 AM by B Smith
It is a different world today. When I went to SU the cost was about TWO GRAND a year. One could make enough money with summer jobs and part time work to pay your way. Upon graduation, even "C" students had a job waiting with Carrier or some other local company. Today those kids and their families are shelling about about 20 times that amount and when they graduate, there are few jobs. What is also interesting is that if you take the pay you were getting in those days, even if it was only two dollars and hour and convert it into today's money, those jobs would be paying around $12 to 15 bucks an hour which few kids can earn now. Yes some are lazy, but the world economy has not been good for the US, but then what do you expect when after WWII we were about the only country left with an intact economy. We can't isolate ourselves, but we have to do better and it is not just a problem for the young.
# 21. 4/30/12 9:04 AM by U.S. Taxpayer & Voter
Agree partially with your comments. I and many of my peers were post WW2 generation. Most of knew we had to find work when we graduated from high school, no question about it. We were expected to contribute to the household if we still roomed at home and if we wanted more education went to nite school and paid for it ourselves. It was the norm back then, and somehow most of us managed.
So we didn't want our kids to go thru what we did, consequently didn't expect or demand of them what our elders did of us. In a way, guess we are partially to blame for actions of some of today's children who expect to be cared for into adulthood.
# 22. 4/30/12 9:08 AM
Like all social conservatives you want to live in the past that is no more.
Things have changed such as the ability to be a producer.
Look at your job. What do you produce?
If you want to live and think in the past your job wouldn't exist as there would be no tolerance for it.
# 23. 4/30/12 9:19 AM by Abner D
Re: Your poll
Seal Team 6 was fortunate that bin Laden didn't suffer a cut lip or a punch to his tummy prior to being taken out.
As I wrote on 10Sept10:
"Should president Obama and I determine - or even suspect - that Mr. bin Laden suffered a cut lip or a punch to his tummy - make no mistake about it," said Holder, visibly trembling ...
"I will prosecute - with the president's approval and encouragement - each and every US Marine and United States Navy Seal responsible - to the full extent of the law!"
As expected, the terrorist-coddling Attorney General's testimony received a standing ovation from Congressional Democrats.
# 24. 4/30/12 9:39 AM by Original Lurker
On your poll: to be fair, Pres. Obama should get credit for ordering or allowing it, but credit for the excellent execution (double-meaning intended) of the plan should go solely to the CIA and the military. And I am not a Obama supporter. This is about the only thing I can think of that he has gotten right in his almost 4 years in office, so he's batting 0.001. Time to send him back down to the minor leagues!
# 25. 4/30/12 9:53 AM
Not all of them are like this Bob. Our son is working a contract position so he doesn't want to irresponsibly sign a lease. He pays us for every penny of expenses, and is DAMNED grateful for the privilege. Of course he looks forward to being hired full-time somewhere and then moving on.
In the meantime, we have an extra set of hands (muscles) around the house, pleasant company for meals, and a built-in animal caretaker when we travel.
# 26. 4/30/12 10:04 AM
So if you can average an 8:12 pace for 13 miles, can you crank out a single mile under 7 minutes at the track? Just wondering about your interval workouts.
Editor's Note: i don't do interval workouts. i don't do workouts. i go for runs. each day i run where i want, mostly because of my mood, and how i feel. i am not an athlete, i'm a fat old guy with a hobby. why pretend otherwise. there is no system or purpose to my running.
# 27. 4/30/12 10:05 AM by John - West Valley, Utah
This is simply a continuation of the way these kids have been brought up. Back in my day when you got in trouble at school you were in more trouble at home. Today, when you get in trouble at school, mom and or dad (if he's around) come and yell at the school. How dare they expect something of their child. How dare they expect something of the parent. So many children are never held accountable for any action or decision. How could they become accountable adults.
# 28. 4/30/12 10:07 AM by Cal - Rochester, NY
Re: Jodi`s, "are you Rapture ready"? Once I heard David Wilkerson comment that he and others once printed up a bunch of newspapers, near NY CITY, delivered them on a Saturday Night with the HEADLINE; JESUS CHRIST RETURNS AND ALL CHRISTIANS ARE NOW IN HEAVEN!
There was quite a reaction among those who got up sleepily on Sunday Morning, saw the headline, then thought that they had missed the boat! Ruined their day! Can you imagine what kind of hell the earth will be like without the presence of Christ`s Holy Spirit?!
# 29. 4/30/12 10:12 AM
Just like you want the government to stay out of your business. Go f yourself!!!!_
# 30. 4/30/12 10:16 AM
I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Who can understand anything they say?
They are so ridiculous and immature!
I don't see why anybody wants 'em!
Just you wait and see
Kids! They are just impossible to control!
(Soon you'll be old enough to be)
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock an' roll!
(Another teenage delinquent)
Why can't they be like you were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids to--
What the devil's wrong with these kids today?
Who could guess the they would turn out that way!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids?
What's the matter with kids?
What's the matter with kids today?
# 31. 4/30/12 10:16 AM
More important subject matter than this bull!*&!@.....
# 32. 4/30/12 10:23 AM
#17 Grandma left out: "I don't understand why my checks bounced. There are still a whole lot of them left in my checkbook. You must have something mixed up at your bank."
# 33. 4/30/12 10:34 AM by Leslie
My youngest son turned 21. He is a good boy, hardworking, Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. And he has never had a date, not from lack of trying.
# 34. 4/30/12 10:38 AM by Bill
At 19 years old, I was on my own, married, with a kid on the way and working 2 jobs. Since then, I have been divorced twice and am now on my third marriage with five kids.
# 35. 4/30/12 10:54 AM by Willy
and to add insult, today's generation killed rock and roll.
# 36. 4/30/12 10:56 AM by John - SLC
Amen! Fortunately our kids are hard working, out of the house long ago, and not a problem. But the difference in attitudes in just a decade or two is stunning.
It's not just the young folks turning 18 staying at home, or "children" remaining on parent's health insurance until age 26.
Wrose, it is not just kids staying at their own homes with in a real family.
It is entire families, or more correctly several breeding generations of people who are not actually families.
The attitudes and work ethic of the liberal welfare plantation have become firmly implanted in their victims, and the new dependency class cannot survive without the government teat.
Why should I work my butt off to pay taxes to support lazy leeches?
# 37. 4/30/12 10:57 AM by Dennis
Cal.....back away from the ledge, everything will be ok.
# 38. 4/30/12 11:00 AM by NY Mom
A Beautiful message to your children as you step into your twilight years,and as usual Cal has missed the point and included Obama into the mix.
# 39. 4/30/12 11:04 AM by Joe
silly question about who gets credit for getting Osama and I thought your article about the young people was negative and unappreciative. After all what have they got, but an environmental mess, hateful prisons that bred gangs and hateful republicans who are shallow and greedy and just love war. What is the next war you're planning? War on teens? The young people I meet are very sharp and caring and the girls are not just waiting for their magical fairy tale prince to come rescue her and think marriage is the end all be all. They are a little deeper at least one's I have encountered. Maybe the ones you meet are spoiled and afraid to go out. Do republicans ever travel outside the country? You're a bunch a scared sheeple. Even Glenn Beck's rally there were warnings of be careful there's black people out there be careful what neighborshoods you walk on and yes the patriot act is what we need even if it destroys our rights so we can be protected by our government. We have our guns. phooey
# 40. 4/30/12 11:12 AM by Patrick - Syracuse, NY
Boy, did I ever squander opportunities. Wish I could go back and have a do-over. High school, I would've studied harder. College, what the heck is a history degree good for? I admire kids who get a degree in something that makes them employable the day after graduation.
# 41. 4/30/12 11:15 AM
A lot of people like to complain about the decline of Kodak, but many of those people used to brag about how little work they did thirty years ago. It was fat city. It isn't just the young who are lazy. Ever notice how many 400 pounders are ridding around on their government paid hoverrounds.
# 42. 4/30/12 11:30 AM
Yea Cal - it's definitely Obama - you ass. Get real
# 43. 4/30/12 11:53 AM by Cheryl Mueller
I agree with everything you have written. From the time that I was old enough to work I never assumed that someone was going to take care of me.
When you hear someone say that there is something wrong with todays kids. I always say blame the parents not on the schools.
Keep up the good WORDS.
# 44. 4/30/12 11:59 AM by Anne
We insisted that both our children find a major that would provide employement when they graduated from college, finish their undergraduate dfegree in 4 years and maintain a 3.25 average. In return, we paid 100% of their tuition. After graduation, they both fould full time jobs in the area. They each lived at home for 1 year, and paid rent, which we saved for them. That was a nice wedding present for each of them.
# 45. 4/30/12 12:07 PM by Poplar Beach
# 17, several years ago I was talking with a friends son, an engineering grad student at Cornell, good parents, good kid. I was talking about taxes and I will quote him. “I never have to pay taxes, I get money back every year.”
Credit cards, automatic withholding, stealth taxing, no down payment, 5 years to pay for a car, etc. etc. Many parents and children of today are clueless because the system has made it so!
After all, you can just look at how our leaders run the country; that example says debt and irresponsible spending is just fine!
We will have to see how the election goes to learn what percentage of our population still believes in personal responsibility.
# 46. 4/30/12 12:10 PM by Dan - Cape Coral
The good news is that the economy has been crappy for 5 years and isn't getting any better. These lazy folks will have to eventually get off their arse's or die.
# 47. 4/30/12 12:15 PM by North Chili Patriot
About your poll: Not that it's any surprise. But your followers never cease to amaze me with how they can so mindlessly follow not even necessarily what you are expounding on on any given day, but they know you so well that they can assume what your position WILL be on just about anything, let alone on the hated Obama. Then they are only too eager to let you know they agree with you. No matter what.
88% of them give President Obama NO CREDIT FOR GETTING OSAMA. Like I said, no surprise, but I have to wonder if they ever use their own judgment on anything, or do they simply turn to WHAM for direction from either you or from the other marching order givers on WHAM or on the internet. Incredible.
I'm certain that most of them would actually prefer that Obama didn't get Osama in the first place, just so he wouldn't be given any credit whatsoever.
Haters are destroyers, not patriots.
# 48. 4/30/12 12:47 PM
Sorry, can't relate to the situation you describe. I don't know of a single young adult in my circle of friends, relatives, and acquaintances that matches your depiction.
Every single one of my 40-odd nieces and nephews, as well as my own four children, are either in school, working, on missions, or married. Many are working *and* going to school.
If the situation you describe *did* exist somewhere, it would seem to be 100 percent the fault of the parents. The parents in question would obviously be doing their children a great disservice.
# 49. 4/30/12 12:54 PM by Grandma Taxpayer - Greece, NY
#32......I hear that one too everyday. I also get "Well the ATM TOLD me yesterday I had XXX in my checkings (not checking but checkings)account so why do I not have any money in my account today????? DUH...they don't know how a debit card works either! We are doomed!
# 50. 4/30/12 1:31 PM by Abner D
[sarc] Racist haters! It's Bush's fault! Bush did it, too!
click ... click
oops, out of ammo ... reloads ...
Racist haters! It's Bush's fault! Bush did it, too!
click ... click [/sarc]
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