49 Responses to:
THE VIEW FROM THE SIDELINE

# 1. 7/7/10 12:13 AM by Ellen
Not a sports story, but when I was 5 I was in a school play - I was the lead, in fact. I went out on stage and after taking one look at the audience of parents, froze into complete and utter immobility. Even with the teacher stage-whispering my lines to me, I could only put my finger in my mouth and stare, terrified. After it was over, my parents told me I did a wonderful job. I was happy. I didn't know any different - I believed them. It still makes me smile to think of it.

# 2. 7/7/10 12:17 AM by DaWiz - San Antonio, Texas
Amen, Bob. Maybe your league needs to take a page out of the modern parenting handbook and build a fenced in area off to one side of the field. For a 'time-out' zone for unruly parents where they can be put until the game is over. The fence should be high enough so they can't climb out and solid enough so the parents can't see through it. This would serve two purposes, 1. To demonstrate to todays parents just how stupid 'time-outs' are and 2. Allow the kids to have fun and get some healthy exercise without having to suffer verbal abuse of their parents.

# 3. 7/7/10 12:17 AM by wayne - salt lake city
I played football all four years of high school. I wasn't really all that good though I spent a lot of time on the field.

My father just did not like high school football. There were any number of things he would rather do with his Thursday and Friday afternoons.

In the years I played, he never missed a game. He came because I was on the team. He came to support me in my desire to play football.

What he taught me had nothing to do with football or sports. What he taught me had a lot to do with love, sacrifice and doing things he might not like in order to make someone else feel needed, loved and appreciated.

# 4. 7/7/10 12:22 AM
I seen people get intense in sports. Being a High School sports official is a great way to make a little extra cash. But you do get a lot of heat from overzealous parents.

What happens in a game even a state championship or all star game will probably have zero effect on most peoples lives down the round besides memories and a few stories to tell.

Parents do get overzealous sometimes though. Some in my community if the coach is not to there liking they try to find another one. I know a school board member thinks his son will be a superstar didn't like the way he coached. Son not in High School yet. Do to pressure decided to keep coach on team. The attitude that kids can do now wrong and sports is the most important thing is what is wrong.

They pay for some scholarships but few. Just something to have fun doing. By the way Soccer I enjoy playing but it is the best cure for sleep apnei to watch.

# 5. 7/7/10 12:54 AM
My opinion will probably be unpopular but here goes.

I'm a 52-year-old woman who has enjoyed and participated in a wide variety of sports my whole life.

I think kids had more fun, learned better sportsmanship, understood the rules and disciplined themselves regarding fair play far better back in the day when we all just met at the vacant lot or school grounds and played amongst ourselves.

Our parents had productive things to do, so we were left to entertain and police ourselves. Teams were chosen by tossing a bat for bottlecaps or shooting hoops or picking captains. Not only did we learn multiple sports, we learned about life and making our own calls and being held accountable by ourselves and our peers.

I wouldn't trade one minute of it for all the scheduled practices, mandatory uniforms, distant games, official referees, unruly, embarrassing parents, and participation trophies on the planet.

All 5 of my kids have played and enjoyed organized sports, but they don't know what they missed.

# 6. 7/7/10 2:01 AM by Jolene
Exactly my thoughts on that, and little girls and boys in knock down get ups and makeup to win beauty contests. Extremely bad parenting. How can kids feel the joy of their own accomplishments when they are overshadowed by fear of inadequacy.

# 7. 7/7/10 6:20 AM by JOHN - MOUNTMORRISNY
I enjoyed your column. Food for thought for all parents.

Because the purpose of sports is not to win the game, it is to win life. To gain the confidence and coordination that life requires, to learn to achieve a goal and develop a skill, to win and lose with class, to never quit or give up hope.

Vicariously goading children for the ego of the parent is a sign of parenting's worst nightmare.

Pistol Pete's quote,
"Character Never Quits,"
and "Love Never Fails."

# 8. 7/7/10 6:35 AM by ex-pansy
I did a lot of sports when I was a kid. Swimming, track, gymnastics, cheer leading...I ran a lot. It got me away from the dysfunctions at home.

... my parents hardly ever came to any of my games or meets. Mom sometimes dropped me off or I would bum rides. Dad NEVER came to anything. I was too busy figuring out how I was going to get to the meets than concern my self with how I would do.

When my husband, kids, and friends stood around for hours in that disgustingly hot weather and cheered me on when I ran my first marathon in September 2008; it was a huge, HUGE deal.

# 9. 7/7/10 6:43 AM by Rick G. - Spencerport, NY
Things went to hell in a bike basket when we organized kids activities. Play dates, birthday parties at “fun centers” and leagues for 4-year olds to play sports were all well intended, but ultimately detrimental to social development. I wish I could count how many harried parents I’ve seen rushing off to take their various kids to their various activities, and how many dads I’ve known who felt guilty for not being able to make as many of these organized soccer games, karate tournaments or baseball games as they wish because they had to work.

You can’t force fun. It sucks the fun right out of it when you do, and these sideline parents who scream at their kids in the hopes that they become the next Pelé or Wayne Gretsky should be ashamed of themselves. They are either living out their failures through their kids or they are hoping that they can scratch that winning scholarship or major league lottery ticket and if they think otherwise, they are only fooling themselves.

When we were kids, all we had was a patch of dirt, some second-hand mitts and a baseball. We had a plywood backstop with a hoop and no net. We played hockey on frozen ponds, not Zambonied rinks. None of us had parents with misguided expectations of our athletic abilities and those that showed a little talent made it through the high school level and maybe played a little in college, but that was it.

We’re ruining the most basic of childhood pleasures with our absurd expectations.

# 10. 7/7/10 6:59 AM
Sen. Gillibrand wants federal money to fight gang violence. Seriously, you have a better chance of making a dent in your vehicle.

# 11. 7/7/10 7:09 AM by eh Rod - CANADA`
Amen!

# 12. 7/7/10 7:17 AM by Beth - Canandaigua, NY
You are absolutely correct. I think competition in its proper place with proper motives is an ok thing to teach kids. But some parents do go overboard.

I'm not sure if you are familiar with Joyce Meyers. She has a book (can't remember the exact title) about not letting other people steal your joy.

My husband and I operate on that same theory with our son and his sports. We do not want to steal his joy.

Sometimes it's frustrating because we know he is capable of playing better than he does. But part of being a parent is finding a way to motivate to bring that out-without stealing his love of the sport. And most times that means keeping our mouths shut and making sure he knows we love him no matter how he played.

# 13. 7/7/10 7:21 AM by SJ - Wayland
I didnt play sports.Tried a few times.Wish I would of tried a little harder.Maybey I didnt because I had no parents there watching me.Luckily I had an uncle that got me into hunting amd fishing.I did raise four boys,so I have had my time on the fields.It was some of the greatest times of my life.Yeah parents can be real jerks trying to get there kids to be everything they were not.I may have strayed that way a few times due to my childhood,I wasnt a perfect parent.My instruction to my boys was,If you start a season,finish it,dont quit.Do your best and remember,you will never be a winner till you know how to lose!

# 14. 7/7/10 7:22 AM by Tony P
Hey Bob-

Sounds like you've had a great time with your kids and their sports....outstanding.

And to all the knucklehead parents that try to live vicariously through their children....shut the HELL up, and sit down before I slap you upside the head!

Tony

# 15. 7/7/10 7:37 AM by Jen
Can you please pass this message along to the youth sports coaches who scream and curse at children and tell them they're worthless? It's not just the parents who send the message that if you are not perfect every time on the sports field, the world is going to collapse.

# 16. 7/7/10 7:53 AM
And no one keeps score because everyone is a winner!!

Editor's Note: we keep score. life keeps score, so should you.

# 17. 7/7/10 8:00 AM by OldVietVet - Rochester, NY
"Sports",for reasons other than physical fitness, and summertime fun between classroom work,are useless.They foster none of the social values or virtues you've described.The conduct of the "professionals", and their understudys' in college and high school attest to that. Men, playing professional sports, contribute nothing to society-unless it be an extended,and destructive adolescence.They are not heroes, and their cheerleaders in the media have done much to render that very word a meaningless tag.It is heresy in our politically correct society to scoff at, or even suggest that our level of sports "appreciation" is absurd, but that is the case.Whenever I see the President of the U.S.,a guy who sneers at the bitter clingers, spending his time "welcoming" a dumb ass basketball team to the White House, I know I'm right.

Editor's Note: you're the only one

# 18. 7/7/10 8:08 AM by Dean & Claudia Parker - UT
Bob, We're sure you are painfully aware that it has been almost a month since the airwaves in Utah died. You were the only effective, honest, entertaining, always upstanding,energetic, positive, committed, thoughtful,thought provoking, good hearted and did I say truly enjoyable voice on the radio in SLC. At our home we have been waiting to wake up and tune you in to find out that we had a nightmare in our sleep; so far that has not been the case. You were the balance and voice of reason that we needed. You are a good hearted honest person whom we met on several occasions. You were considerate and genuinely interested in and grateful for those who supported you on the radio, in life and through your writings. We are among those. It is with anger and sadness that we make phone calls to KNRS and pray for your family and your success in the future. It is with heavy hearts that we miss your voice in our day and your thoughts monitoring our thoughts and actions. We will remember those who perpetrated this event and make appropriate changes in our listening habits. We will do what we can to support you, but most of all, please know that you are not forgotten and we watch for your star to rise in a new sky very soon. Thanks for sharing with us over the recent years. You and an honorable man whose influence will long be felt.

# 19. 7/7/10 8:12 AM
And no one keeps score because everyone is a winner!!

Editor's Note: we keep score. life keeps score, so should you

Who are you kidding. I've been to those kiddie soccer and t-all games with my grandkids down at bellamy park and games are not scored. if you don't want to admit it then i guess you are just having trouble with reality.

Editor's Note: maybe your kids can't count. mine always could. thus far this season, two ties with scores of zero to zero and one to one, and one win with a score of two to nothing.

# 20. 7/7/10 8:15 AM by rochester escapee
I had to check no in your poll, (for "organized" sports, that is). We were an immigrant family (Germany) and our parents insisted sports were "games" and that we children had to learn how to work.

Years later, like you, I had much enjoyment watching my own children perform on various teams and activities. Lifelong friendships were formed. Athletics is just one ingredient in the recipe for character development.

# 21. 7/7/10 8:19 AM by Deanne
Where my neighborhood were all cheerleaders, I played sports...basketball, volleyball, softball and flag football. My mom came to my high school games and sat patiently in the stands and on the fields watching me. She complemented me always, even when we lost. We all shook hands with the opposing team and bad sportsmanship, not tolerated by coaches or officials. Games have changed. It's all about winning for most. I played in the 70's and parents were different then.

# 22. 7/7/10 8:23 AM by Mike - Greece
"a happy flock of youngsters chasing around blissfully after a ball. They have no idea whatsoever what they are doing,"

Unfortunately they grow up to be our congressmen and senators.

# 23. 7/7/10 8:56 AM
Liberals have been saying this for years.

Also, doesn't this give creedence to the claim that often times the parents mistreatment of their children at a young age can lead to the child being a troubled teenager.

# 24. 7/7/10 8:56 AM by Mark - ER
Let's not forget the macho idiot coaches, who want to win at all costs. These are kids, not the major leagues. For football there is (or was) a rule that a kid must play 5 plays. (Sad that they must have that rule.) The East Roch. 7th grade football team was up 44-0 and the coach put my son in for exactly 5 plays and pulled him back out. What a message that sent to the kids.

# 25. 7/7/10 9:12 AM
But Bob, your claim that you keep score blows your whole point, that's it's all for the kids to have fun and they don't have a clue what any of it means.

Do you think keeping score at that tender age means anything to them? That young they live in "the now" like dogs do.

Editor's Note: dogs sniff one another's arses, too.

# 26. 7/7/10 9:26 AM by Ryan Smith - Ogden, Utah
# 17. 7/7/10 8:00 AM by OldVietVet - Rochester, NY "Sports",for reasons other than physical fitness, and summertime fun between classroom work,are useless.They foster none of the social values or virtues you've described.

In response to these comments i want to point out some of the values that are learned when true sportsmanship is applied. first you learn about teamwork and working together with a group to achieve a common goal you learn to combine your strengths with those of your fellow man. You learn that sometimes no matter how hard you try it just isn't always good enough. You learn to pick yourself up and try again. you learn that there are winners and losers in life and that it takes determination, hard work and persistent effort to developed the skills to be the winner.

I am not a huge sports fan but even so i recognize the value that it brings to society. go out and be a kid for a change and quit gripping about the people who are.

# 27. 7/7/10 9:26 AM by kittynana - Beautiful, HOT, Lewiston NY
A MUCH needed column. Announcements should be made before every game, no matter the sport, that negative remarks from parents will NOT be tolerated and negative remarks from coaches will result in their removal.

And there's nothing more fun to watch than a T-ball game....

# 28. 7/7/10 9:42 AM by Dave - Fairport, NY
I grew up loving sports and can't remember a time I didn't participate. Whether it was soccer or kickball in the neighbors yard, or more formal organizations like Little League, it left nothing but good memories. And I still remember my father being at every game when I was a kid, or even showing up at our softball games when I was an adult. He always encouraged me, or even "coached me" a little from the sidelines. I learned from that and have now coached my son through many years of sports. I have seen both the great parents and those that take it too seriously and get out of hand. I've had to speak to parents to ask them to tone it down. Afterall, they are kids! In 10 years of coaching, the first things I tell the kids before we ever take the field is that we want everyone to give us 100%, but that the primary goal is for us all to have fun. Some seasons have been more successful than others in those terms, but we really strive to make the kids smile and enjoy it.

This is my son's first year in sports as a teenager, and coaching kids that are a little older completely changed the dynamics. We are now having near-adult conversations, and the one thing I noticed was the sense of humor these kids have at this age if you have some fun with them. I've never laughed more in the dugout and on the field than this year. When all was said and done this year, I told the kids on the team I'd never had more fun coaching, and I meant it. And to their credit, we had the best bunch of parents in the league. Nobody got unruly, and everyone seemed to enjoy our season. It restored my faith that kids sports can still be enjoyed by the whole family!

I hope, Bob, that your family gets to enjoy some seasons like I got to experience this year. It makes it all worth it to see a whole team smile and laugh together.

# 29. 7/7/10 9:56 AM by Donald
We're lucky. Our 11-year olds soccer team doesn't have overly-aggressive interfering parents. However, I have seen a soccer coach who clearly taught his team to bully the other players.

Bob, when are you getting back on the air in Utah? You name the station and I'll listen.

Editor's Note: i'm applying and hoping. i'm saying my prayers.

# 30. 7/7/10 10:02 AM by alexander - upstate ny usa
#19 kids know the score regardless of the official policies of the leagues.

# 31. 7/7/10 10:51 AM by Kate - not w/ 8!
AND THEN through the years the parents who blister their kids in sports drive them away with their tension. Those kids wind up at your house to hang out in the basement and backyard with your kids ($$$ for food and a mess abounds; the noise and it is ALL very very good -- a passage)!! It happened to us, three times over. Sports are fun, a learning tool and an outlet for kids. Enjoy all the days ahead w/ kids in sports. OH, it can be such joy, if you know to let it be joyful! Personally, when those screaming parents were at it, I thought their embarrassment addressed their lack of self esteem/inadequacey. It wasn't about the kid falling down or fumbling the ball. It was about the parents feeling they had fallen and fumbled in their own lives.....I'm outta here. Done. ..........Hey, we're not Mormon, but we go to the pageant in Palmyra most every year. What a beautiful evening. God enjoys it, too!

# 32. 7/7/10 11:09 AM by Anne - Webster NY
True story:

My sons played baseball in a middle-school Webster League in the 1980s. One of the players was called out by the ump, and dropped the "F-bomb" on the ump. The player was ejected from the game. Of course all the spectators (mostly mothers) started nattering about what a piece of white trash the kid and the family was. Next thing, the kid's mother got in a fist fight with one of the gossips. One of the biggest poundings I've ever seen.

# 33. 7/7/10 11:12 AM by CJ - Rochestr
Over 28% of your audience never played sports as a kid? How weird. Maybe you are attracting quatraplegics, amputees or polio cases.

# 34. 7/7/10 11:21 AM by Barbara Hipp - N. Ogden Ut.
Where are you and Lee on 5-10. I like Glenn Beak, but nothing like your show. Can I find you on a.m.? This is a mistake. Now I don't turn on radio until Rush. bh

# 35. 7/7/10 11:29 AM
You are the only person I know that has three family generations - within his own kids. Is your goal to have children old enough to be grandparents of your youngest kids?

If that's the case, then it's time (again) to dump your current wife, get another half your age (again), and start another generation.

# 36. 7/7/10 11:48 AM by RIck - Lehi Ut
"Because the purpose of sports is not to win the game, it is to win life....to win and lose with class..." If I remember correctly it was about a year ago you were being critical of some young ladies in a college softball game who showed class and sportsmanship. Remember the game where the girl hit her first ever in her life over the fence home home run and blew out her knee rounding first base? She was unable to continue. Rules would not allow her team mates to carry her around. But the shortstop from the OTHER TEAM spoke up and asked if THEY could carry her.. After the umpires met and consulted the rule book it was determined that is allowed.. so the other girls on the OTHER team carried her... this showed true sportsmanship.. and you criticized it. and here and now you write it is not all about winning. also, about the parents from the stands.. I am an umpire with ASA and high schools in girls softball. At the pregame meetings I always tell the girls they have permission to ignore their parents from the stands. I have seen officials eject parents from the stands for being abusive to their kids...

Editor's Note: that was neither class nor sportsmanship, it was cheating.

# 37. 7/7/10 12:07 PM by Paul - GenEseo
I agree. Almost every day, at every level of sport, I see the very situations that you describe, but it is absolutely heartbreaking at the level of youth sports. At the lowest level, fun & learning should be foremost. As the kids grow older & pass through the more advanced levels of sport, winning will be (& should be) emphasized more & more. I was fortunate to have supportive parents who came to my events as often as they could & only criticized me if I did not give my best effort.

As far as the behavior of certain parents...as the child grows, their behavior becomes progressively worse. Good luck officials & coaches!

# 38. 7/7/10 12:17 PM by Bob Jr. - Utah
Nice column Bob. Man do I miss you in the mornings. I've even found myself tuning into WHAM via iHeart Radio to get my fix. Your thoughts on sports are spot on. Can't wait for a few more years to be watching my first young son run around the field too. I turned on KSL on my drive this morning and what an obnoxious bunch of idiots. I had to turn it right off. Please come back Bob!!!!!!

# 39. 7/7/10 1:25 PM
Editor's Note: that was neither class nor sportsmanship, it was cheating. If they were going by the rules as interpreted by the umpires, it was not cheating. You are a moron.

Editor's Note: the imperative of sport is winning, and doing your level best to win. you owe the game, your teammates and your competitors your best effort to win. doing for another player what that player should do for herself is cheating -- period.

# 40. 7/7/10 2:11 PM by a coach - upstate ny usa
how about this. we beat this team last year in the playdowns, the loser coaches show up to our next game, stand behind our kid's parents and start heckling the kids. how pathetic is that?

Editor's Note: dang, that's nasty conduct.

# 41. 7/7/10 2:20 PM
Did that idiot Rod just give you a thumbs up? Hell must be freezing over. It's the end of the world and I haven't finished making peace with my creator. Woe is me.

# 42. 7/7/10 2:53 PM by DR (betty) - Phoenix, AZ
I have two favorite moments from playing sports. The first is back in the days of 20 on 20 pick-up baseball games. No adults present. Just us kids. We played every day until the call of supper.

The next was in high school. I transferred mid-year. The superintendent write a letter saying there was no recruiting and that my parents were moving into the district. I started school mid year a few months before they moved. The coach let me practice, but not play. They had a state championship level team. He didn't want to risk recruiting violation claims. I didn't agree, but I accepted. It was the best time I ever had playing sports. The practices were very hard and I learned a lot. Our practices were much harder than any games they played. We made it to the state semi-finals that year. The point? Playing, whether in practice or a game was the important thing. Giving all you had. That was important.

I played sports (and started) all the way through college. My Jr season of basketball was the best. Almost as good were pick up games against top notch college and pro players in the summer. Again... no official game, but we played as hard as ever. If you didn't you were told to get off the court and go home.

We played tooth and nail against each other but when the game was over we were still friends. That is sports.

# 43. 7/7/10 5:47 PM by Tom Dey - Springwater, NY
Agreed. Most important is to let them enjoy sports early and they get hooked on participation - which will last a healthy lifetime. They may eventually choose a favorite that you wouldn't - that's the beauty of it. Healthy competitiveness and sportsmanship naturally mature without parental pushing. My son and daughter did Vince Lombardi football and cheerleading right off. Now two+ decades later Mark sky-dives and Erika is prepping for a marathon.

# 44. 7/7/10 7:22 PM by Cami - SLC, UT
My granddaughter was put in softball or bonnet ball and when me and her grandfather went to see her she ran up to us in tears. (she really didn't like it) She put on a brave front to her parents but the truth is organized sports can be much pressure for a kid and an unneccessary expense for the parents. The funniest time as I family I ever had was playing softball with my mom and dad and siblings. Pure delight. And at a price they could afford - free!

# 45. 7/7/10 7:25 PM by Greta - Rochester
I always wondered why German parents could be so mean. What is that about?

# 46. 7/7/10 8:01 PM by Che Guevaras long gone bad breath - Spiral Jetty, Utah
Now here's whatcha do Bob!

Have this column printed on gobs of flyers with big attention getting block letters reading: ATTENTION SOCCER MOMS & DADS

Then your column below. Maybe a few boneheads will read it through & see themselves!

Dang! Bob,miss you here on KNRS! So much grist for the mill....left to DOUG freakin'WRIGHT!

I do NOT listen. It's like fingernails on a Chalk board!

I'm in a Funk here! Who's gonna tug police chief Baldbank off his media pedistal now?

# 47. 7/7/10 10:49 PM by Gena - South Jordan, Ut
Hi Bob, Still miss you here in Utah. I agree wholeheartedly. Parents should encourage their children happily during sports. You speak from age, wisdom and most important experience. I'll bet many of the parents you're speaking about have none of these qualities. Learning to let children learn through their own experiences without forcing your experiences on them, is a difficult task for some parents. The older I get, the more exciting it is to watch children discover and learn, I am being taught by watching them. As a younger parent I wanted to teach. Amazing, the circle of life in learning and teaching, and teaching and learning. Love you Bob.

# 48. 7/8/10 8:44 AM by Sherry - Salt Lake City, Utah
Bob, we want you to know that we here in Salt Lake City are pulling for you. Everyday we send another “Bring Back Bob” to KNRS Radio Station. We will do this until you are back at KNRS 105.7 OR KACP 570 or another local station such as KTKK 630 or KLO 1430. We see that Wall Street Journal is on both ClearChannel stations 105.7 and 570 (4 a.m. in SL) You should have one of those slots. They don't need two (boring) Wall Street Journal shows at the same time, no less. If I want that type of show I can turn on the (boring) TV. Thanks for everything and God Bless You and Your Family.

All you Lonsberry fans, let’s all contact KNRS every day. It’s critical to do it now.

http://www.knrs.com/pages/about_knrs/generalmanager.html http://www.knrs.com/pages/about_knrs/programming.html

You can also call them at 801-908-1300 CLEARCHANNEL= lisacdollinger@clearchannel.com, RyanPoore@clearchannel.com, jagoayllon@clearchannel.com, You can also call them at 801-908-1300

# 49. 7/8/10 9:16 AM by Sherry - Salt Lake City, Utah
When I was a kid (way before organized sports for kids) when we wanted to play baseball we would drum up a game. I was a shy kid, but it built my confidence knocking on the doors of the kids in my neighborhood and asking, "Hey, do ya' want to play ball?" If I would have had to join "Little League" to play, it just would not have happened. First I was not a good enough player, second I would have been too embarrased to have "anyone" watch me, and the money to buy uniforms. My parents never came out to watch us... and we never expected it. My Dad was busy earning a living to keep the bunch of us fed. Mom was busy taking care of dinner, laundry, etc. Yet I knew they loved me and my sisters. Lots of happy memories just being a kid. None of my kids were enrolled into "Little League". I wanted them to have the same happy memories I had. But I was wrong. It was a different world and they probably would have benefited. My son has 4 sons, they have been involved in "T-ball", "Little League", etc. Costs my son a small fortune to keep up with new uniforms and equipment every year. (They do mostly football.) But he is a dedicated Dad and is very involved. Everyone in the family tries to go to as many of their games as possible. Granpa and I go to nearly every game, and we all have fun. Seems like the kids are having fun, too. (When they get hurt, I ask, "Are you still haveing fun? and they alwyas say "yes". Go figure! But I see the value of the "life lessons" they are learning that you talked about. Too bad some parents you speak of are bad sports. Luckily we have not encountered any in our area.

Would you like to:
add your own comment? or send this story to a friend?