132 Responses to:
HERE'S A MEDICAL MYSTERY FOR YOU

# 1. 7/2/07 8:39 PM by jack - geneseo
Sphincter says what"

# 2. 7/3/07 12:02 AM by Paul Martin - Rochester New York
Bob, say no more! You conviced me the day you talked about it on your show. Ugh! Hope I never experience what you did. Have a great holiday. Remember, watch out for that fish.

# 3. 7/3/07 12:07 AM by Rick - Arlington, VA
This is one of many reasons I don't eat fish. I got sick on it once as a kid (I didn't have your problem - I was hunched over the toilet, bot sitting on it), but you're not the first person I've heard this story from. I also have not eaten any seafood of any kind since that day.

All I can say is get well soon and don't eat any of that again. Oh, I should add that I don't miss your show often (I have to listen via Internet), but I'm kind of glad I missed that episode - you know, what with you being on during lunchtime and all.

Gute Besserung, mein Fruend.

# 4. 7/3/07 12:08 AM by Dave - New Harmony Utah
Thanks for the warning about escolar. And thanks for making it so I can never eat italian dressing again as long as I live.

# 5. 7/3/07 12:08 AM
My guess would have been fat draining out of your head, but apparently you want to go with the fish thing so I'll play along.

# 6. 7/3/07 12:09 AM by Jim - Rochester
Bob! You just solved the energy problem! -- Eat more fish, skim off the oil and put it in your car.

Maybe someday someone will invent a car seat with a direct connection

# 7. 7/3/07 12:12 AM
I kept feeling like I should be horrified... disgusted... grossed out... repulsed... repelled... nauseous... revolted... but somehow, I just kept laughing...

# 8. 7/3/07 12:13 AM by Rect um, - damn near killed um
dude - too much info - find some depends and keep it to yourself

# 9. 7/3/07 12:15 AM by Linda - Shortsville, NY
Oh my, you are so funny!!! It's a sure sign of aging, isn't it, when you start talking about your bowel movements, right?

# 10. 7/3/07 12:22 AM by Tom Bastian - Fairport, NY
OK BOB. I just got back from a 10 day vacation in Tennessee. I read your very touching eulogy about the 5 girls who died in the accident. It was very well written and touching. I also read your article about obeying the law. Tough love but also very true. Then when you really had me down, you spring the oily butt on me. I now know why I came back home; to read and listen to Bob's variety hour. You never know what you are going to get but it's worth the wait to find out.

# 11. 7/3/07 12:23 AM
you know - I was grossed out when I just read the article and posted the response about depends....then I just read what escolar is, and realized I had two small pieces this evening, mistaking it for albacore

Dear God help me

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escolar

# 12. 7/3/07 12:27 AM - Utah
ha ha...Bob crapped his pants!

# 13. 7/3/07 12:34 AM by Joseph Schickler - Rochester, NY
HOLY MACKEREL!

# 14. 7/3/07 12:41 AM
um...thanks?...I think

# 15. 7/3/07 12:45 AM by HarryL - San Angelo, TX
Bob,

This is great information! I am going to invite a bunch of my military buds over on Saturday and cook them up a nice dinner of escolar and some beans and brews. I'll stick to bratwurst due to a "fish allergy". Then on Sunday I'm going to reccommend a motorcycle ride. Pay-backs from this are gonna be hell, but it'll be worth it! Yee-haw! Harry

Editor's Note: to be honest, my first thought was: i'm glad i didn't know about this when i was a teen-ager, this is a lot better the exlax in the cookies

# 16. 7/3/07 12:56 AM
What a crappy piece of writing.

See Bob, it is healthier to eat less.

# 17. 7/3/07 1:14 AM by Blake D. Stewart - Roy, UT
seriously, I started reading and couldn't believe the subject matter. then to my amazement I was laughing, again at the subject matter. and finally in the end (no pun intended) I felt taught. I learned something entirely new to me. And though I often disagree with your political analysis, I really liked this column.

# 18. 7/3/07 1:19 AM by Catherine
Two little words guaranteed to throw ice water on the libido of even a raging nymphomaniac: anal leakage.

I used to think you were kinda sexy.

# 19. 7/3/07 1:34 AM by Sylvia - Naples
Hey Bob, I know you encourage people to share their paranormal experiences in your comment board. Well, wait until you hear this one! Usually you know I sleep just fine, but on rare occasions I will find myself up late with nothing to do. Every time I have turned on the radio at a late hour, this guy named Art Bell has been on talking about how he's going to retire. Always that same guy, always retiring. It's eerie! I think I've narrowed it down to two possibilities. Either, one, I've woken up in the middle of the night and found myself in some time warp where I have the same experience over and over again (maybe some divine force outside the time continuum sending me a message?) Or, two, the radio signals at that hour are so weak that I am getting signals from some other dimension, maybe one where people retire more often, or have nine-lives or something. And no, Bob, it's not a dream! If you're dreaming you can put your head through a wall, cause it'll go right through, on the first try. No such thing happened, after numerous trials! That having been said, do you think you'll every have escolar again, in something closer to the recommended serving, or never again?

Editor's Note: never again, and i had the same art bell deja vu last night

# 20. 7/3/07 1:38 AM by hunter - e. bethany, ny
Your offishal narrative sounds like a topic for "Writers On The Loose".

# 21. 7/3/07 2:03 AM by Jim - Fairport, ny
Bob you are so full of sshh! Sorry I mean you were. Some fish story.

# 22. 7/3/07 2:12 AM by Anne
Wow Bob, slow news day?

Perhaps the stuff that dribbled out of your hiney was the excess $h!^ that you are full of, as evidenced by your previous article regarding the Fairport girls' deaths being caused by a driver who mishandled her vehicle because she was remiss in turning in a driver ed. form to the DMV (which, by the way, is supposed to be submitted by the DMV person conducting the road test).

# 23. 7/3/07 2:41 AM
Why would you eat anything you are not familiar with? Isn't that like playing Russian roulette with your body? You are certainly some strange kind of cat. Wasn't Escobar some big time drug lord at one time? Maybe you got a cocaine overdose. Eat 3 cans of tuna fish or sardines and the same thing would probably happen. It sounds like some kind of old fart thing. I like crab, lobster and scallops, but I would not eat a ton of them. Too much prime rib would probably have the same effect, pig.

# 24. 7/3/07 3:01 AM
I read your link on the escolar. The fact that it is a mackerel rang a familiar bell for me. I had mackerel once at a seafood restaurant, but did not get the runs. All that happened is that I was constantly burping up oily mackerel for 3-4 days. Which is okay if you like the taste of oily mackerel. The cure? I just have never eaten mackerel since. Never had a problem since. As I recall, it was not even a large portion of mackerel either. Maybe the fish monger should have warned you. Anyway, the important thing is that you survived.

# 25. 7/3/07 3:05 AM by Bill - Washington DC
Escolar is a wonderful treasure.

I remember working with a group of very annoying people. You might say they were full of crap, which needed to be cleaned out.

Coming from a long line of fishermen. Two ancestors actually died in a fishing expedition in the sixteen hundreds.

Be that as it may I knew a little about Escolar (actually nicknamed "wormfish"). So, I held a big resignation party when I left employment with this group of people. I fed them a "healthy" portion of wormfish, and received only four terrorized phone calls.

Hey, everyone needs a chuckle now and then.

I suspect that wormfish is the main ingredient in the new diet pill Alli.

Have a smooth day.

# 26. 7/3/07 3:08 AM
Remember, you yourself stated that it was "delicious". Which makes it worth trying. Yum!

# 27. 7/3/07 3:55 AM by On Golden Pond - Henrietta, NY
(smile) There are other oils and fats that do that too ... and yes, it is eerie when it happens. It should pass without much problem in a couple of days. In the old days, mineral oil was used to "lubricate" the lower bowel to move the "stool" when one had constipation. Those little bubbles of oil were more clear. I will predict that you"re well and healthy and all is well.

Stay well my friend!

# 28. 7/3/07 4:46 AM
PLEASE DO NOT TAKE SONG REQUESTS ON YOUR SHOW --- IF WE WANTED MUSIC WE WOULD DIAL ANOTHER STATION.

BTW: YOU COULDN'T CARRY A TUNE IN A WHEELBARROW. YOUR "VOICE/SCREECH" IS HORRIBLE.

IF YOU WANT TO BE AN "OLDIES" D.J. GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. --- NOT WHAM.

# 29. 7/3/07 5:22 AM by dave - hilton ny
Gee thanks for the tip.........

# 30. 7/3/07 5:39 AM by MIKE
awe crap.....i was hoping someone was going to say "boobies!"

it's a good day for a colonoscopy.

# 31. 7/3/07 5:51 AM by Frankie - Rochester
To #28.Bob has a wonderful show all the time.One day,he went with oldies request's just for kicks and your fliping out.If you want to smile,listen to Bob's show.If you want boring talk,YOU go somewhere else.Stop being a di--head and have some fun.

# 32. 7/3/07 6:07 AM by Rick G. - Spencerport, NY
This has been a public service announcement by the smart people at Disgusting Things that Come Our Your Body.

Next up: Why do people look inside the Kleenex after they blow their nose? What do they expect to find? Gummi Bears? Nickels? Scooter Libby? What?

# 33. 7/3/07 6:33 AM by Eric J. - Rochester, NY
Next time my ass leaks, I'll be sure to drop you an e-mail. We can compare notes, swap pictures, exchange coupons for Charmin. You know - guy stuff.

# 34. 7/3/07 7:11 AM
This article is soooo GROSS - while I was reading it, I thought to myself, "Bob, you must have been doing something with Butch you shouldn't have been doing - your wife isn't good enough, you have to do guys too". But then my mind got out of the gutter and back to reality - I hate that type of fish: I only eat shrimp, scallops and lobster. Sure, they are bottom feeders but they taste better and I don't have to worry about oily excrement.

# 35. 7/3/07 7:17 AM by Tim - Ontario, NY
I wasn't sure how to react to this column, so I gave you a "thumbs up" - er, figuratively that is.

At first I thought, "Great! Now I'll never be able to eat italian dressing again!" (you've ruined that for me for life)

Now, I'm kinda 'oogie' about fish too!

Please Bob, write about politicians. I already have disdain for them.

# 36. 7/3/07 7:18 AM
At least you were well lubed & ready for action.

# 37. 7/3/07 7:24 AM
Where did you buy that fish? You have to stop going to those smelly fish markets. I don't eat anything that comes out of water.

# 38. 7/3/07 7:26 AM
One odd prehistoric fish ate another. End of story.

# 39. 7/3/07 7:38 AM by Paula
Haven't read your column lately. I don't have time in the mornings any more. But I am on vacation so I thought why not read Bob's column. Thanks. I had a good laugh and I learned something. Hope you are feeling better. Enjoy the Holiday. And your family.

Editor's Note: thank you, ma'am.

# 40. 7/3/07 7:46 AM by Rick G. - Spencerport, NY
Top Ten Thoughts about this experience by Bob Lonsberry

10. Oh, the oil goes in the crankcase, not crank case!

9. Loaves and fishes my ass!

8. Oily residue? I hardly even know you!

7. Honey, can we hang a a roll of Bounty in the bathroom?

6. Note to self: Call Leo’s and cancel idea for an escolar pie.

5. Anyone have a good recipe for Crisco Fritters?

4. Will this ring dent on my butt ever go away?

3. Call Pace, we need another window in the bathroom.

2. Can I take the elevator? For some reason, escalators make me queasy.

1. Hey, did I just fart that song from Jaws?

# 41. 7/3/07 7:47 AM by alexander - rochester, ny usa
Ass.

# 42. 7/3/07 7:54 AM by Steve
So your main concern was that when you crap your pants normally, it isn't orange?

# 43. 7/3/07 8:00 AM by Dick Weed - Hornell, NY
I just snuck a peek at your wiki, Bob.

Impressive.

I only wish I caught your Coast to Coast guest host spot. Got a podcast of that one anywhere?

Editor's Note: thankfully, no. i retired from coast to coast. art bell is copying me.

# 44. 7/3/07 8:12 AM by Nick - Irondequoit, NY
So the ass lives on....

# 45. 7/3/07 8:12 AM by Larry - Virginia
As a former teacher I'm hoping no middle school age boys read this. I could see them eating this fish so they could stink up the school, have a big laugh, and get it closed for the day.

Editor's Note: it's not that kind of stink. it's an odd mineral oil kind of scent that, sadly, does not wash out very easily.

# 46. 7/3/07 8:17 AM by MikeNTNY - North Tonawanda,NY
Hay Bob, I am sitting here writing this reply to your column and I almost had an unplanned anal leakage myself. The big difference is mine was because of laughter. Sorry that your discomfort seems so funny. It must be a guy thing to think that sort of thing is funny. Anyway I am glad to hear that you are now A-OK. I recommend a nice green salad for lunch just to clean out the old pipes so to speak.

# 47. 7/3/07 8:18 AM
If you are crapping oil perhaps you need to ease up on the sex a bit. Let the old man-gina heal a bit Bob.

Editor's Note: funny. very funny. freak.

# 48. 7/3/07 8:23 AM
You would have been quite a hit at the crisco disco! All oiled up and ready to go!

# 49. 7/3/07 8:24 AM by kittynana - Lewiston NY
Robert,

Despite your discomfort, I laughed my fool head off. My family and I need a good laugh right now!!! Can't wait to share this one!! -A

# 50. 7/3/07 8:39 AM by Dede - Ogden, Utah
Bob, Bob, Bob, (head shaking) You never cease to amaze me....Yesterday your column was special and today? Well lets just say, You let one...

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